foulmouthedliberty:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

Being an adult is realizing that $5,000 is a lot of money to owe and very little money to own.

this is real

100,006 notes

atomskdluffy:

stephii-cat:

rose-domino:

"May cause sweating, peeing, and adequate hydration"

ITS A WATERBOTTLE

WANT

(Source: justbriann)

60,419 notes

dashingyounghero:

hipsterinatardis:

Don’t leak nudes

Leak pictures of SPIDER-MAN

image

53,984 notes

zombie1ovejuice:

theroyalstapler:

As an introvert, I’ve done, and do, all of these things…. constantly.

HAHA I DO ALMOST ALL OF THESE

126,108 notes

dontgigglesherlock:

there’s this commercial on tv now for supernatural and they’re basically like “The Winchester brothers are back for more mysterious and dangerous adventures” and then

they fucking show this clip

image

image

and I just can’t even imagine what people that don’t watch supernatural will think of this show

18,604 notes

blurrys:

chill hazel grace its a metaphor

blurrys:

chill hazel grace its a metaphor

(Source: celinaelixr)

113,980 notes

edwardspoonhands:

maggieoletamaedeever:

fishingboatproceeds:

edwardspoonhands:

Holy. Crap. I just found an email argument between me and some random internet person about evolution and creationism. Apparently I thought this was important enough to print out and save for TWENTY YEARS!!!

Cannot tell you how many times I’ve been on the phone with Hank and it’s clear he isn’t listening and then I say you’re not listening and then he says, “Hold on someone on the Internet is wrong about something.”

You just got reblogged and commented on by John Green! Be honored !

He’s…he’s my brother…

edwardspoonhands:

maggieoletamaedeever:

fishingboatproceeds:

edwardspoonhands:

Holy. Crap. I just found an email argument between me and some random internet person about evolution and creationism. Apparently I thought this was important enough to print out and save for TWENTY YEARS!!!

Cannot tell you how many times I’ve been on the phone with Hank and it’s clear he isn’t listening and then I say you’re not listening and then he says, “Hold on someone on the Internet is wrong about something.”

You just got reblogged and commented on by John Green! Be honored !

He’s…he’s my brother…

31,508 notes

snatchedweaves:

That look ur mom gives u when u embarrass her in public but she can’t kill u yet

image

357,858 notes

buckysexual:

siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)

caramelkite

74,305 notes

flannelbuttphenomenon:

life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.”  months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”

394,649 notes